Saturdaze

“Don’t ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn’t fall in love, I rose in it.” 

- Jazz, TM

I can still see all the things I memorized
about your body
when I was with you.
And sometimes
I close my eyes
and still see your clavicle
still see your birth marks
still know your hands
I know your winding roads and curves and on ramps and exits
I know your faults and defects
and imperfections.
And I
still smell your chest
your disfigured bony chest.
And then I remember everything else.

Longitude Latitude

It doesn't matter where you are
what continent you're on
who you are with
what you are drinking
what music you are listening to
how much you "like" your situation
how good the food is
how beautiful the spring is
and the summer when everything is in full
when the sadness comes the sadness overtakes it all.

I die to be able to wake up every day thankful and resilient
Instead I wake up
in or out
of the arms of someone
with or without
my family by my side
in or out of financial troubles
encased in my own body consuming bruise
that is
.depression.

Food does not fill
a a will that won't will
a song that's been killed
constant emotions being drilled
escape with a pill
a little wine spill
eyes close
and in that moment
time froze
tranquil.