It feels like a betrayal of the highest form. Ordering Chinese food with someone else. You loved Chinese food. It was something I grew so tired of when I was with you that it had to be turned into a treat for special days or hangovers. I also put cheese on everything now. And we eat it. All of it. You would hate all of the cheese-covered food I get to enjoy now. And I go for walks. Long walks to nowhere with someone who doesn't moan at the idea of doing physical activity with me or going to appreciate nature. I have a constant companion who is really quite the opposite of you. He already has a few terms of endearment for me. You had none. Just called me, coldly, by my first name. He has already written me three letters expressing his desire and attraction towards me and my heart. He motivates me to be a better teacher and doesn't tear me down when I do better than him. He cooks for me. So many things. A lot of vegetables and cheese. He has taught me how to fly again and untied the wings you had permanently sewn behind my back. 

Soon you will be a memory. You've already started fading. I forget your smell and I forget your smile. It was gone for the longest time even before I left. Soon your hands will no longer be a thought that crosses my mind. Your blue eyes will not be the ones I see when I close my eyes. 

I will no longer call your name out in my sleep when I have a nightmare or say it, by accident, in moments of frustration.

I will soon forget about all the things I loved in you. But the things you lacked still linger with every moment that passes and I feel more fulfilled.

Your birthday, your shoe size, your way of shifting gears, the way you smoked cigarettes held between your first two fingers all the way down to the base. The way you used to blowdry your one inch of hair on top of your head. What a waste of time, I always thought. 

It's easy to forget about your coldness now that I am warmed by the biggest of caring arms.