It's all the same, a cruel cruel game.

I have finished the holiday, it was great -- a little less bitter than usual, but its over now anyway.  I have to see where my life goes in the next few days.  I am very lost and confused and wish that my answers came clearer than they are.  2012 is now approaching.  I didn't ever think that this is where I would be in my life at this time.  It is odd that the things that we think we will do, we only sometimes end up doing.  I hope in the end that I will look back onto all of this, and onto all of my life, and appreciate the good times, and feel great admiration for where I have taken myself, and what I have become.