And here it is...
I received the invitation for my cousin's wedding. I love weddings. I love being around familiar faces, alcohol, and music. And I don't think I can go. I have been anticipating these moments since I moved to Spain- a graduation, a family get together, even my brother's and sister's birthdays... or worst of all a funeral. All things that I may or may not be able to attend because I am 3000 miles away in Spain. It makes me feel selfish.
I am in the midst of summer, the ultimate in Mallorca madness. The beaches are dripping in blue, and endless. The weather is hot and it's easy to be happy, or feel free and in love. So why don't I feel that way? I think twice a year is too little to see my family, but I'm making a commitment. I feel like I can achieve more by being here, but nothing is ever a 20 dollar bus ride away anymore.
And here I am. My depression deeper than ever, and I wonder- am I making the right choice?
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