Summers don't last forever anymore
I guess that nothing does
it seems like I lost the point in time
where things changed
It used to be so easy
to have a good time
on no dime
no one cared.

Sacred summer fades away
were growing up they say
but a secret between me and you
we both know that that's not true
we'll be young and free forever
we'll just have to chase those summers
let's just chase the sun
if we start now the race is half way won.

We'll start yesterday
and straight on til infinity
no matter what
just warmth and you and me
volando vamos
el sol tentandonos
los dos
puros
sun chaseros
vagabundos
de dos corazones
sin razones.

I cry at least two times a day
it helps me keep the pain at bay
Yellow circle on the front of the R train
rising to the station like the sun.
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Heavy boisterous birds in flight
Clearing clouds upon the night
arriving soon to land amidst
this concrete jungled neverland abyss
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with wings you came in soft a fly
and bounced me down up towards the sky
and prickly painful wind gusts couldn't keep
me from falling feather-like at your feet
the greatest brightness ever known
was that which to me from the darkness you had thrown.
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Never have I looked so tired
my limbs tangled with stress
body rewired
the day to day so uninspired
the situation a slow slope to dire
what's next guns for hire
ill just take the gun.

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Pain pain pain pain
nothing left to lose or gain
everybody same train
same face same name
bored of playing the same game
lack of something new
such a shame

Cold and wet and thinking of you
when thinking was the only thing we had to do
too may minutes of silence
with some of my thoughts hinting to violence
where did we go?
here we are sitting angry at the world
and neither of us can apologize
the hardest of all of life
--compromise.
Sick to my stomach
thinking thoughts
mind pulled taught
wish you remembered that all i wish you would do
is suffocate me in your arms and just fake an I love you.
Toss my stomach into knots
and wish that we could remember
all the Decembers and Septembers
and all of our selfish desires
still burning embers
too hard to forget the last thing on our mind
There is nothing that feels better than the non-violent locking
of your body into mechanical positions around my body
waiting for the key
Someone threw away
stuck in bittersweet
tangle
of tick-toking
roll rocking love.
No one ever made me feel this way
You've always been 
and always be 
the best part of my day.

It's too hot to do anything

Summer sadness

Alas, Summer is here again, already almost the first month gone.  Today is father's day.  I wish I weren't upset with my father today.  I wish that all father's around the world had the opportunity to be with their sons and daughters today.  I am feeling very nostalgic, missing lost moments.  I'm working so much these days that I also feel like I am losing days before they even come, and sleeping away my time.  At least the sunshine has been cleansing and freeing, and makes me feel alive.  I am taking as much advantage as I can.  I am going to the Poconos soon, and that will be amazing.  To all of you fathers out there, I wish you the happiest of days and forgiveness and patience and love with your child and vice versa.  To me, well I wish myself a sunshiney day and time passing slower.  Lazy days of Summer have come and are going much too quickly.  Happy Sunday world.

Happy Monday, hopefully

Sun shining through my window when I woke up this morning.  I hope that's a sign that there is a good day coming. I am feeling kind of bla lately. Everything seems the same all the time and I need a little spark to shake things up. I have a new job which is ok, extra money and all cash so that's good, but not great.  How can I make it great?  Maybe I need to buy a new pair of shoes.  I've been looking online a lot and found a couple to share.

Who knows.  I don't really have money to buy this stuff right now anyway. I'd like to save for another trip to Italy as soon as possible, and roll in the waves on the beach of Anzio, and eat some fried stuffed zucchini flowers with a glass of prosecco.  Maybe some fig gelato to wash it down?

6 days until Easter, and chocolate again!

Ciao!

Sunday funday

I woke up today after staying out a little late last night, watched movies, and ate food all day in my pajamas.  I think all Sundays should be like this.  I made 200 bucks last night, and I'm happy with myself for not spending it.  I am relaxing and enjoying the way things are going right now in my life.  Seven more days til I can have some cake and eat it too.  Enjoy the week.  Xoxo's

Spring is in the air!

I am so ready for lent to be over and the warm warm weather to hit me in the face.  I gave up sweets for lent and, with the exception of a cupcake I at at my mother's in March, I have been good.  But oh man I'm craving so bad.  Especially now that its warmer out, I could go for a great popsicle, or ice cream right now. Maybe even a water ice!  MMMMMMmmmmm.  Ok stop.  So Easter is right around the corner.  Tony has started painting again and I get to have huge colorful canvases lying all over the house.  I love it.  I love seeing him motivated and getting back to what he really likes to do.  I just started working at a pub in midtown and its fun and good money, especially while I'm still on the Dole lol.

While I can't have another sweet thing until April 8th (grrrr)  I can continue to fantasize about it so for all you dessert lovers out there I will be posting some pictures of my favorite desserts.  Bon apetite!

Warmth All Around

So the weather has been beautiful, my mom paid off NYU and I am now feeling like an enormous weight has been lifted from my shoulders.   It will now be so much easier to transfer credits and graduate, finally, and on I can go with my life.  I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't permanently move outside of the country, get married, or have any kids until I finished with school.  I assumed I would be around 30 by then.  I am so happy.  Everything in my life has been going so well, and hopefully nothing comes and shits on my parade.  The sun is shining, and I'm free of debt.  Thank you karma.

New Year New Things

So it has been a while since I last posted, and I haven't been posting very often so I'll do my best to keep memories coming.  I'm still in Italy, I leave Sunday, the 29th.  I've been here since the 4th.  Everything has been amazing, and I have been getting to know the family, that will one day be my second one, very well.  I am loving the spirit that this country has and the warm welcome you receive from everyone.  I have already been invited back whenever I want.  The only thing that was missing, my second half.  He will get his stuff together soon enough and we can figure out how to split our time between Bay Ridge and Anzio.  I can now understand why the connection to family is so strong, they are wonderful, and here everything is about family.  Not work, not stress, not money.  Just living and enjoying life and being close to those who care for you the most.

I have been able to see things most people only dream of.  I saw the Trevi Fountain, countless churches, the Sistine Chapel, St. Peter's basilica, the Colosseum, an AS Roma soccer game, the Mediterranean Sea, Veneto, I tried different wines, cheeses, grappas, vegetable, fruits, cakes cookies, and just about anything else you can think of that would be magical.

Here below are some recent pics and fun stuff, enjoy, and remember: if you ever need to go somewhere and feel like you belong, come to Italy.  You will never want to leave.